How To Be Bold On The Inside

By Ellen Farquharson

Be Your True Self!

Shine: How to be bold on the inside

1) Who am I and where does my value come from?

2) What will really make me happy?

3) Am I more influenced by God's truths or the world's views?

4) What is true success?

5) How do I know the right path to take?

6) Two important questions.

7) What do we do with this great love God has give us?

8) Why was Jesus such a different kind of leader?

"Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one, be without the strategy." - Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf

1) Who am I and where does my true vale come from?

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God." 1 John 3:1

My self worth is based on the fact that God loves me and calls me his child.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:10

Humbling ourselves means recognizing that our worth comes from God alone.  To be humble involves working with his power according to his guidance, not with our own independent effort.  Although we do not deserve God's favor, he reaches out to us in love and gives us worth and dignity, despite our shortcomings.

2) What will really make me happy?

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Submit yourselves to God. Come near to God and he will come near to you.  Purify your hearts.  Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up" James 4:6-10

Instead of aggressively going for 'more' of what we want, why not submit ourselves to God, and trust him to give us what we really need.  There is nothing wrong with wanting a pleasurable life.  God gives us good gifts to enjoy, but you will never be happy seeking pleasure at others expense or at the expense of obeying God.

Of course, God wants us to be happy.  But, there is a great difference between happiness and joy.  Happiness is temporary and usually is a result of favorable circumstances.  Joy is deeper than that.  It is a constant knowing that nomatter what is happening around us, we are loves by the Creator of the universe.  He will never leave us, forget us, or forsake us.  He delights in me.  why? Because he created me.  just as a mother loves her own child, her 'creation', God loves us with an everlasting love and draws us to Him with his cords of oving kindness.  He desires a closer and closer relationship to Him each day.  The more time He gets to spend with us, the more time He wants to spend with us.  He think we're amazing, beautiful, talented, and perfect in his love.  He doesn't see our flaws or buy into our fears.  He lifts us with His everlastind love into a place of peace, comfort, and deep joy.

Pride makes people self-centered, leads us to conclude we deserve all we can see, touch or imagine.  It creates greedy appetites for far more than we need.  We can be released from our self-centered desires by humbling ourselves before God, realizing that all we really need is His approval.  When the Holy Spirit fills us, we see that this world's seductive attractions are only cheap substitutes for what God has to offer.

Because of man's fallen nature, people have a tendency to envy which leads to discontentment.  The antidote for that is a servant attitude and humble heart towards God and others.

3)  Are you more influenced by God's truths or the world's views?

"The world and its desires pass away. But the man who does the will of God lives forever."  1 John 2:17

When our attachment to worldly, shallow desires is strong, it's hard to believe that what we want will one day pass away.  Yet, knowing all that we touch will end can give us courage to live for God knowing that He and our relationship with Him will last forever.

4) What is true success?

"Earthly or unspiritual wisdom is vanity, selfish ambition, envy, boasting, denial of the truth.  But, the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." James 3:15- 18

True success and wisdom can be measured by the depth of a person's character.  It is easy to be drawn into wrong desires by the pressure of society, work, and sometimes even well-meaning Christians.  By listening to the advice: 'Assert yourself', 'Set high goals and standards and accept nothing less', You Deserve it!', 'Get happy,' we can be drawn into greed and destructive competitiveness.  Seeking God's wisdom delivers us from the need to compare ourselves to others and to want what they have.

Just as you can you can identify a tree by its fruit, you can evaluate your wisdom by the way you act.  True character is defined as what you do and think when no one is looking.  Are you one to escalate the conflict, pass on the gossip, fan the fire or discord?  Careful, winsome speech and wise, loving words are the seeds of peace.  God loves peacemakers and those who edify and encourage others.

5) How do I know the right path to take?

"When the Sprit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.  He will not speak on his own; he will only speak what He hears from the Father...  The Spirit will take what is mine and make it known to you.  (Why?)  Because the Father himself loves you ~ because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.  I have told you these things so that you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But, take heart, I have overcome the world!" John 16: 13-15, 27, 33

The Holy Spirit is given to us as a gift from God when we accept that Christ came to die for our sins so that we can have intimate union with God forever.  Our selfish desire separated us from God's purity, yet Jesus came to bridge that gap so that we can have constant and unhindered communication with our Creator.  His Spirit will guide us to the right path for our lives?


6) Two important questions.

    Good plans  "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to help you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
    Broad Path

The Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts very quietly to reveal to us right from wrong, wisdom, truths, and convicts our heart when we have grieved God.  God loves us no matter what we could ever do.  And yet, because of His love, He wants us to live a good life that will deeply satisfy us and bring Him glory at the same time.  We have to decide to trust that He has our ultimate good at heart.  God has good plans for us, far better than we could design for ourselves.    The first question for mankind is: "What do you believe? Will you ask the Holy Spirit to come in?" The second question is: "Will you take the time to listen to the Spirit's tender guidance or will you follow the loud voices of the world?"  Or rephrase it this way: "will I take the broad path or the road less traveled."  It's not what you are doing, it who you are following that makes all the difference.

Are you following the world or are you following the Spirit leading your heart into your destiny?  Are you grasping and grabbing, as most do, out of a deeper belief in scarcity.  If I don't do this, take this, promote myself this way, then I won't have what I need.  That is thinking about survival, not success.  Or, are you thinking, I know people might think I'm crazy, but I really feel led to do something very unconventional, out of the box, out of the norm.  I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I just know everything will work out. #

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Philippians 2:13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7) What do we do with this great love God has give us?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."- Romans 12:2

13Jesus answered her, All who drink of this water will be thirsty again.

    14But whoever takes a drink of the water that I will give him shall never, no never, be thirsty any more. But the water that I will give him shall become a spring of water welling up (flowing, bubbling) [continually] within him unto (into, for) eternal life.

8) Why was Jesus such a different kind of leader?

Matthew 20:25-28 (New Living Translation)

"But Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Matthew 19:29-30 (New Living Translation)

29 And everyone who has given up anything, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.

The world talks about leadership in a very different way than Jesus.  He was the first to say such staggering things about leadership.  His ways seems contrary to popular belief then and now.  How can being humble cause people to respect you?  Wouldn't that seem like a form of weakness?  How can people know how important, powerful, rich you are if you don't brag about it here and there, in the appropriate moments?  They would never just guess that you are somebody.

And yet how did Jesus command with such unwavering authority the respect of so many?  How can a man seem important when he washes his own followers feet?

Ellen Farquharson's Accolades

Ellen Farquharson is a renowned motivational speaker, business trainer, singer, and life coach. With 15 years of experience in life coaching, motivational speaking, and ministry, her true passion is inspiring others to become their very best. After living in Paris, she moved back to the United States to develop her own entrepreneurial business. She achieved a high level of success very quickly hitting the top position in her company, developing a million dollar business, and training women across the country. She is now releasing her first book and is looking forward to speaking on the subject throughout the world.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ellen_Farquharson
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Be-Bold-On-The-Inside&id=787872

Leaders Who Label May Harm Their Effectiveness

 

 By Susan S Freeman


Yesterday I heard something in a yoga class that shouted out to me as a valuable leadership lesson:

The idea of putting a label on an experience.

Think about how many times a day you get caught up in labeling. We endlessly label our experiences (and sometimes those of others), we label our feelings, moods and thoughts as positive/negative, good/bad, strong/weak, etc. Our brains benefit from our ability to categorize and label; it is a way of accessing the huge amounts of data stored there. A label can help the brain find a "similar" file drawer quickly and efficiently. Processing data would be difficult, if not impossible, without our highly developed capacity to label.

The shadow side of labeling

The process of affixing a label for our own experiences takes an already active (often reactive) mind and occupies it fully. By giving an experience a label from a similar past experience or attempting to classify it in order to help predict and control a future outcome, we are harmed. Our tendency to label beyond the need for analysis can hinder leadership because it keeps us everywhere but in the here and now. We miss being present to "what already is."
Learning to pay close and mindful attention to sensation without the need to label or categorize is important for leaders.

All that is required of you is to simply be in the experience rather than outside of it.

Why does "not" labeling matter?

It matters because when you are aware of what is happening in you're here and now, be it any problem or challenge, a person or a situation you will pay close attention to its essence. The essence of your experience defies labeling. The essence must be experienced. There is no other way. You must be in it, and not outside of it.

Your heightened awareness can be experienced in your body. Because it will speak to you in a language that may be unfamiliar at first, here is a process to get started:

1) Stop and be still

2) Breathe deeply from your abdomen for 3-5 breaths; lengthen the inhalation and the exhalation with each new breath

3) Attend to the pure sensations going on in your body; learn its "language"

4) If the tendency to classify or categorize comes up, simply continue to breathe in a relaxed manner. Watch the tendency to label drift, as with a cloud moving across the sky

5) Be curious; open yourself to the potential that may have escaped if you had tried to label first!

The Proper Use of Labels:

Using labels can paralyze you from being present because the act of labeling attaches feelings and emotions that may not be responsive to the moment at hand.

Instead, save labels for organizing, collecting, and grouping data. Labels are useful when used for analysis; less so when they cause leadership paralysis!

I invite you to share your story on how leading without labels works for you. Join the conversation so we can comment and learn.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_S_Freeman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Leaders-Who-Label-May-Harm-Their-Effectiveness&id=7734738
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Does Your Leadership Battery Need a Re-Charge?

Does Your Leadership Battery Need a Re-Charge?

By Susan S Freeman

Last week I was coaching a new client who was facing a personal leadership challenge. Promoted from a technical to management role, he was becoming increasingly frustrated. Not having yet learned the skills to make this easier, he found himself becoming more short-tempered. Not surprisingly, this took a physical toll as his blood pressure spiked.

Does this sound familiar? If so, you may need a re-charge to your leadership battery.

Isn't it strange that we have entire set-ups to re-charge our technological devices nightly, at home and on the move. We face battery drains at our own peril; out of reach, out of touch, unable to complete tasks and communicate in real-time.

Apply the metaphor to your leadership battery. Are you learning the competencies to keep it from getting drained? Are you re-charging it daily?

Many of us were fortunate to have gotten a bit of a summer break, whether it was near or far. We believe that vacations are the re-charge for our batteries. While they are often effective at doing that, we simply cannot afford to wait that long.

Why is taking a vacation not enough?

The human body was designed to be at "homeostasis." We have the ability regulate our physical, emotional and mental processes if we learn and practice.

When we are in our conscious, waking state, we activate the sympathetic nervous system. This helps us get things done. The problem comes when this is our ONLY state of being. We require the balancing of the parasympathetic nervous system; the part where we access our deeply relaxed state of brainwaves; alpha or perhaps even delta or theta. Access to this deeply relaxed brain-wave state allows us to experience creativity, synthetic thinking, intuition, visualizations, etc.

Activating the parasympathetic nervous system can be done daily through a breath practice. Learning (and practicing) allows your mental, physical and emotional states to "re-charge."

1. Make a commitment (preferably to someone who will hold you accountable)

2. Set aside time in your calendar to create a routine. Intend to turn this into a habit

3. Practice belly breathing, just a few minutes at first, gradually working up to longer periods.

4. Notice what you observe in your body, state of mind, emotions

5. Write it down in a journal or notebook; remark on patterns and what changes for you.

Remember to give as much care to re-charging yourself daily as you do to your electronic devices.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_S_Freeman
http://EzineArticles.com/?Does-Your-Leadership-Battery-Need-a-Re-Charge?&id=7945252
Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There Are Two Ways to Make Decisions - By Gut Instinct, or by CarefullyStudying All of the Facts

By Tom L Randle

"Right is not right; so is not so. If right were really right, it would differ so clearly from not right that there would be no need for argument. If so were really so, it would differ so clearly from not so that there would be no need for argument. Forget the years; forget distinctions. Leap into the boundless and make it your home."

--- Chuang-Tzu

Gut instinct is really a function of experience. The more something has worked for you in the past, the more likely you are to use the same strategy again in the future. Sometimes you can use both methods and come up with two different courses of action. The easiest decisions are those in which your gut instincts and the facts point to the same course of action. Good decisions come from experience and experience comes from making bad decisions.

The tough calls come when these two things point in opposite directions and there was no other choice to be made.

Don't force it as instincts come naturally. If you have to deliberate for days whether something is really the right move, then your instincts are not clear.

• In my role as CEO of a large credit union in SW Florida, there was a director who did not share the approved governance policy and had tried for a decade to reshape it to his liking despite getting no support from others.

Take right action when opportunity presents itself. Getting the facts to back up your instincts is prudent; but there are situations that require swiftness. Waiting for more supporting data is not always an option. If your instincts say go for it, then take action.

• It was time for this person to go. He was damaging the organization. The board had known that for years in their gut.

Do not let fear of past mistakes cripple your decision-making. The best leaders in the world are not right 100 percent of the time. Sometimes your instincts may be wrong. Learn why you were incorrect in a particular situation and move on. Don't let past errors scare you into missing future opportunities.

• The board of directors is human and wished to extend an opportunity to this person to be successful as a director. They overlooked ten years of undesirable behavior because on occasion the person was a contributing part of the board. The fear of confrontation and of forcing a resignation ran contrary to their values and personality.

Showing moral courage and taking a stand against inappropriate behavior is a hallmark of an ethical leader. The standard you walk past is the standard you accept. The more often you walk past someone or something that your instincts tell you are wrong, the more emboldened that person becomes. They may have gone their entire life without anyone saying to them that their actions, words or deeds are unacceptable, wrong and offensive to your values and honor code.

We have heard the expression should have, could have, would have, if only and next time. These all point to wanting another chance in how we handled a particular situation. Sometimes important life and work issues don't come with a second chance to do the right thing.

What are you attracting into your life? If the results are less than satisfactory the issue may be that you have come to accept a standard that does not represent who you are, and you are better than that. Achieving a work-life balance forces you to ask are you moving toward what you want or simply away from what you don't? Not taking a stand and doing the right thing increases internal discord.

Where do you need more integrity? What do you feel is holding you back?

To receive a FREE Leadership Talents Assessment, contact us at http://www.kesgroupllc.com/index.php/contact-us
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tom_L_Randle
http://EzineArticles.com/?There-Are-Two-Ways-to-Make-Decisions---By-Gut-Instinct,-or-by-Carefully-Studying-All-of-the-Facts&id=7793430
photo credit: weesen via photopin cc