Maturity - Proficiency to observe absorbing oneself.

Recently there was an occasion where I completely lost my temperament. The Motive for getting into that disposition was compelling. Anyone in my place had enough reasons to justify the move. But, when I looked at that day, it seems that I might have been carried away with the circumstances which finds you in an unlikely situation and you wonder how you could have been so stupid. I suppose I should be thankful. Being framed for a transgression is all a part of growing up. “Maturity” was the first word which struck my mind and left me introspecting for a long time.

What exactly does it mean by maturity?

There are several instances where we use this term.  We all understand what it means based on situation. But, if re-questioned the response is never specific.

Let me narrate you instances where I have encountered people saying:

Acting childish signifies the absence of maturity.

He is stuffy arrogant, absolute immaturity.

Conceited in their own circumference, not being amicable connotes immaturity.

Traditionally being childish, stuffy arrogant, being hostile are all signs of immaturity.  Even when we take “arrogant” and “childish” out of this meaning so that we are left with ‘behave like an adult’, we are still left with a meaning that fails to represent the true value and quality of the word and its denotation.

Maturity means you are fully developed in some way to fulfil a role or function.  Botanically a fruit or a vegetable is mature when it is ripe — ready for consumption. When a person knows the rules of life with norms abided to society, a right speech to a right person at right place and time is about maturity with human beings. A thin line between childhood and adulthood - not the factor of age but the state of mind is maturity.

Maturity is the ability to control ironic emotions such as anger, annoyance and differences without violence or destruction. Generally, these emotions get carried away and leaves a bitter tinge embedded with momentary behaviour too. It is also the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaints or collapse of oneself too.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a mission, or a situation in spite of opposition and discouraging setbacks. It is also unselfishness – responding to the needs of others, often at the expense of one’s own desires of wishes.

Maturity is an interesting word which is hard to define and is been revolving around all pleasant traits what the social order is openly embraced. 

To put it into a nutshell, it is a virtue of humility and modesty. It is a grown up trait that demands great strength to say, “I am wrong’, ‘I am sorry. And  when being right, the mature person would not say, “I told you so.” It is also the ability to make decisions and stand by it. It is also dependability to overcome the crisis. 

There are few more false notions attached to maturity. One in my kinfolk even asked me - “Being serious towards life and with people around... is maturity. So, I want to be one”. I was dumb stuck when I heard that. You can’t understand life when you are a fun-loving person. People would not respect you when are in cheerful and in merry mood.... were few more to add to the catalogue.  All I wanted to say here was maturity is not the impression that you leave upon others. People don’t judge on momentary occasions. They judge on long term deeds, repeated manners and recurrence of your conduct.  Maturity is a long term verdict.

The greatest day in our life is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up and probably that’s what we call as maturity. It is living life in tranquillity realising the difference between what can be changed and what needs to accepted. It is also an attribute to see others just like we ourselves – an objective evaluation of situation and people.  Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Growing with maturity is a conscious decision.

Author : Pratima Jagadeesh

She is a HR Professional and works in a MNC at Bangalore. Her topics of interest are psychology and metaphysics. She is also involved with Counselling and works for few NGO's.

What does it take to STAND FOR RIGHT!

One of my friend called me this morning as I was driving to office. He seemed to be bit upset and narrated an incident that happened in his organisation.

There is this technical manager who is extremely rude and arrogant and it seems that the entire organisation experiences it. He insults people and it’s been a real nuisance. There have been escalations from employees, candidates who attend interview  with this man, few peers and from all possible angles. This morning too there has been another escalation and management is tight-lipped and are in mute condition. There have been many cases to support this typical behaviour but no action really surfaces out.

As we spoke, we also discussed on many facets of it

Why do some people behave rude?

What makes an individual arrogant? What pushes him to be insolent?

The probable answers we came out was-Ego, Over-confidence about oneself, feel so in-secured within and it makes them feel good to treat others like trash. They might have a problem with themselves or suffering from some disorder. For some it’s situational, but if it is a persistent habit, then there is something coarse underlying at a depth. The list grows with no end when we want to reason it out.

On the contrary, there is this set of people who digest and absorb this annoying and irksome behavior. In this typical case, management of the organisation isn’t taking any steps is one part of it. But there is also a good set of numbers who don’t raise voice against this infuriating behavior of the person. For instance, this HR Manager of this organisation seems to have no words. There are people who complain that management does nothing about it. And it seems that she also just follows the same line and keep mum about it. Rationally speaking, majority of us just follow the same lines…speak behind, give reasons not to take a bold step, no stand for what’s right, instead keep quiet. The complaint dies one day and we stay amidst of dead things. Yet another day another incident follows and we recall the past and still continue to complain that management does nothing about it.  Aren't we assuming!! Why don’t we think we are accountable too.  What stops us from approaching as a group to resolve age old grumbles? Why don’t we take responsibility to get things answered?  Have we put our efforts before we declare it! Have we attempted to voice over the opinion or we prefer to sit and complain about it until the problem knocks our door and hurts us as an individual.

Well, I was thinking as I drove to office and key aspects that

 struck my mind was – majority of us lack to carry an independent opinion and to stand for what we think is right. Probably, we need to have a strong personality to have an outlook of what is right and stand for it. Insecurity lies at every point of life at different thresholds, but the question is-do we control it, or does it control us.  This certainly does not mean that we should be eccentric in nature. All I am trying to say is “Let us be right”, and proliferate to people around to stand for what is right. Any decision we take should not be person oriented, situation oriented, individual emotion oriented, but should have an analytical reason and for what is right and veritable.

As I entered into my office, I have a table calendar with a quotation for each day. I came in and as a usual habit, I turned to today’s date and there was a subtle smile over my lips because the quote read – “All glory comes from daring to begin, so give it a start and prove yourself.”

Author : Pratima Jagadeesh

She is a HR Professional and works in a MNC at Bangalore. Her topics of interest are psychology and metaphysics. She is also involved with Counselling and works for few NGO's.

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others!

From last 48 hours I have been HEARING music continuously. Sounds crazy!!!

Is Music heard or listened!!!  Obviously, it’s listened and enjoyed. But, let me reiterate I am hearing it just like any other noise around.

   

That’s where I draw my inference that we are at the nth level of         sensitivity. We call ourselves as sensitive to others. Being considerate,    thoughtful, sympathetic is all what we were taught since childhood. But, I question myself – Do we really realize its significance and adapt one!!

What made me to write all this?

Since last two days, there is a Ganesha idol and its festival being arranged adjacent to my place. Since its beginning until now, the music is on starting from 6am to 10pm. CONTINUOUSLY!!!! I don’t know how many decibels is the sound, but it is heard all through the area. It wakes me up in the morning and never lets me concentrate on anything entire day.

Just give a thought for a minute – How many old people are around who need rest and silence! Children have their mid-term exams at this time of the year and they are required to study.

Celebrating festival isn’t pompous. No god seeks flaunting music all the time. It makes me think that, if at all Ganesha is required to listen to this entire day, how he would feel??? Or is it for people to listen to bhajans all the time as a feel good factor. The reality is we can’t concentrate entire day and be in the same mode. This is the time where MUSIC turns to NOISE. All that they play becomes an attention seeker and nothing more. Think about it!!

To add to this – the entire road is lit with colorful lights and I saw that the power line was drawn from a local electrical pole. Who should be held responsible for this?

This is not yet it! To have this grand swindle in the name of festival and celebration, local shopkeepers are forced to pay money for this whole spectacle. And we PRAY GOD to make us good and the way we celebrate the entire event is by creating problems to all around, by illegal practices. We aren’t even sensitive in hospital zones as well. It’s the same set of scenes that reappears there.

This is just not it!!

The same history repeats for any local hero’s birthday, any temple anniversary, Diwali festive time and its

crackers and so on. The crackers are lit until midnight. Even pets fear to get out of their abode during these times because of the noise.

Why aren’t we sensitive that we all co-exist and the practices we adapt does create trouble & nuisance to others. Is it not a simple common sense! Cant any celebration happen without noise.!!!

Why do we need an overstated showy things attached to celebration! Cant celebration be confined to specific time when in public. Can’t there be a law on respecting people, and their privacy.

When I contemplate on these lines – series of absurd behavior we display flashes my mind. Our manners in bus-stops when bus arrives, when in traffic congestion, on roads while driving – In how many occasions we are so insensitive to others. Unconcerned and indifferent while using public property. Spitting, littering, breaking rules are all ‘cool factors’ for us. Else, an intelligent ignorance cog saying ‘A single hand can’t move a mountain’ and add to the same hitch leading to having no difference from others and you. 

When do we learn being sensitive to the things around and also others. The entire elementary education revolves around morality, ethics and value education and keeps teaching that ‘Be considerate’ to others. Cruel reality is that- what we preach and teach is not what we practice.

What does it take to be considerate!

What does it take to be more refined!

What does it take to be matured and adoptable! 

Probably the day we can crack this secret, is the day mankind takes an indomitable immense leap.

Author : Pratima Jagadeesh

She is a HR Professional and works in a MNC at Bangalore. Her topics of interest are psychology and metaphysics. She is also involved with Counselling and works for few NGO's.

The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not.

A gentleman once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God.

Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, “Do you need two statues of the same idol?”

“No,” said the sculptor without looking up, “We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage.”

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. “Where is the damage?” he asked.

“There is a scratch on the nose of the idol.” said the sculptor, still busy with his work.


“Where are you going to install the idol?”

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high.

“If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?” the gentleman asked.

The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said,

“I know it and God knows it!”

Moral – The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not. Excellence is a drive from inside, not outside. Excel at a task today – not necessarily for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction.

If we hide the faults of others then Almighty God will hide our faults...

There was a King who had 1 Eye and 1 leg..

He asked all the painters to draw a beautiful portrait of him.

But none of them could because how could they paint him beautifully with the defects in 1 eye and 1 leg..

Eventually one of them agreed and drew a classic picture of the King.

It was a fantastic picture and surprised everyone..

He painted the King AIMING for a HUNT. Targeting with ONE Eye Closed and One Leg Bent ...

MORAL : Why can’t we all paint pictures like this for others. Hiding their weaknesses and highlighting their strength.

If we hide the faults of others then Almighty God will hide our faults...

How To Be Bold On The Inside

By Ellen Farquharson

Be Your True Self!

Shine: How to be bold on the inside

1) Who am I and where does my value come from?

2) What will really make me happy?

3) Am I more influenced by God's truths or the world's views?

4) What is true success?

5) How do I know the right path to take?

6) Two important questions.

7) What do we do with this great love God has give us?

8) Why was Jesus such a different kind of leader?

"Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one, be without the strategy." - Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf

1) Who am I and where does my true vale come from?

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God." 1 John 3:1

My self worth is based on the fact that God loves me and calls me his child.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:10

Humbling ourselves means recognizing that our worth comes from God alone.  To be humble involves working with his power according to his guidance, not with our own independent effort.  Although we do not deserve God's favor, he reaches out to us in love and gives us worth and dignity, despite our shortcomings.

2) What will really make me happy?

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Submit yourselves to God. Come near to God and he will come near to you.  Purify your hearts.  Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up" James 4:6-10

Instead of aggressively going for 'more' of what we want, why not submit ourselves to God, and trust him to give us what we really need.  There is nothing wrong with wanting a pleasurable life.  God gives us good gifts to enjoy, but you will never be happy seeking pleasure at others expense or at the expense of obeying God.

Of course, God wants us to be happy.  But, there is a great difference between happiness and joy.  Happiness is temporary and usually is a result of favorable circumstances.  Joy is deeper than that.  It is a constant knowing that nomatter what is happening around us, we are loves by the Creator of the universe.  He will never leave us, forget us, or forsake us.  He delights in me.  why? Because he created me.  just as a mother loves her own child, her 'creation', God loves us with an everlasting love and draws us to Him with his cords of oving kindness.  He desires a closer and closer relationship to Him each day.  The more time He gets to spend with us, the more time He wants to spend with us.  He think we're amazing, beautiful, talented, and perfect in his love.  He doesn't see our flaws or buy into our fears.  He lifts us with His everlastind love into a place of peace, comfort, and deep joy.

Pride makes people self-centered, leads us to conclude we deserve all we can see, touch or imagine.  It creates greedy appetites for far more than we need.  We can be released from our self-centered desires by humbling ourselves before God, realizing that all we really need is His approval.  When the Holy Spirit fills us, we see that this world's seductive attractions are only cheap substitutes for what God has to offer.

Because of man's fallen nature, people have a tendency to envy which leads to discontentment.  The antidote for that is a servant attitude and humble heart towards God and others.

3)  Are you more influenced by God's truths or the world's views?

"The world and its desires pass away. But the man who does the will of God lives forever."  1 John 2:17

When our attachment to worldly, shallow desires is strong, it's hard to believe that what we want will one day pass away.  Yet, knowing all that we touch will end can give us courage to live for God knowing that He and our relationship with Him will last forever.

4) What is true success?

"Earthly or unspiritual wisdom is vanity, selfish ambition, envy, boasting, denial of the truth.  But, the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." James 3:15- 18

True success and wisdom can be measured by the depth of a person's character.  It is easy to be drawn into wrong desires by the pressure of society, work, and sometimes even well-meaning Christians.  By listening to the advice: 'Assert yourself', 'Set high goals and standards and accept nothing less', You Deserve it!', 'Get happy,' we can be drawn into greed and destructive competitiveness.  Seeking God's wisdom delivers us from the need to compare ourselves to others and to want what they have.

Just as you can you can identify a tree by its fruit, you can evaluate your wisdom by the way you act.  True character is defined as what you do and think when no one is looking.  Are you one to escalate the conflict, pass on the gossip, fan the fire or discord?  Careful, winsome speech and wise, loving words are the seeds of peace.  God loves peacemakers and those who edify and encourage others.

5) How do I know the right path to take?

"When the Sprit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.  He will not speak on his own; he will only speak what He hears from the Father...  The Spirit will take what is mine and make it known to you.  (Why?)  Because the Father himself loves you ~ because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.  I have told you these things so that you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But, take heart, I have overcome the world!" John 16: 13-15, 27, 33

The Holy Spirit is given to us as a gift from God when we accept that Christ came to die for our sins so that we can have intimate union with God forever.  Our selfish desire separated us from God's purity, yet Jesus came to bridge that gap so that we can have constant and unhindered communication with our Creator.  His Spirit will guide us to the right path for our lives?


6) Two important questions.

    Good plans  "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to help you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
    Broad Path

The Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts very quietly to reveal to us right from wrong, wisdom, truths, and convicts our heart when we have grieved God.  God loves us no matter what we could ever do.  And yet, because of His love, He wants us to live a good life that will deeply satisfy us and bring Him glory at the same time.  We have to decide to trust that He has our ultimate good at heart.  God has good plans for us, far better than we could design for ourselves.    The first question for mankind is: "What do you believe? Will you ask the Holy Spirit to come in?" The second question is: "Will you take the time to listen to the Spirit's tender guidance or will you follow the loud voices of the world?"  Or rephrase it this way: "will I take the broad path or the road less traveled."  It's not what you are doing, it who you are following that makes all the difference.

Are you following the world or are you following the Spirit leading your heart into your destiny?  Are you grasping and grabbing, as most do, out of a deeper belief in scarcity.  If I don't do this, take this, promote myself this way, then I won't have what I need.  That is thinking about survival, not success.  Or, are you thinking, I know people might think I'm crazy, but I really feel led to do something very unconventional, out of the box, out of the norm.  I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I just know everything will work out. #

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Philippians 2:13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7) What do we do with this great love God has give us?

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."- Romans 12:2

13Jesus answered her, All who drink of this water will be thirsty again.

    14But whoever takes a drink of the water that I will give him shall never, no never, be thirsty any more. But the water that I will give him shall become a spring of water welling up (flowing, bubbling) [continually] within him unto (into, for) eternal life.

8) Why was Jesus such a different kind of leader?

Matthew 20:25-28 (New Living Translation)

"But Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Matthew 19:29-30 (New Living Translation)

29 And everyone who has given up anything, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.

The world talks about leadership in a very different way than Jesus.  He was the first to say such staggering things about leadership.  His ways seems contrary to popular belief then and now.  How can being humble cause people to respect you?  Wouldn't that seem like a form of weakness?  How can people know how important, powerful, rich you are if you don't brag about it here and there, in the appropriate moments?  They would never just guess that you are somebody.

And yet how did Jesus command with such unwavering authority the respect of so many?  How can a man seem important when he washes his own followers feet?

Ellen Farquharson's Accolades

Ellen Farquharson is a renowned motivational speaker, business trainer, singer, and life coach. With 15 years of experience in life coaching, motivational speaking, and ministry, her true passion is inspiring others to become their very best. After living in Paris, she moved back to the United States to develop her own entrepreneurial business. She achieved a high level of success very quickly hitting the top position in her company, developing a million dollar business, and training women across the country. She is now releasing her first book and is looking forward to speaking on the subject throughout the world.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ellen_Farquharson
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Be-Bold-On-The-Inside&id=787872