By Ellen Farquharson
Sometimes people wonder if they have to be perfect in order to be successful. Many of us carry with us a secret insecure side of us with painful scars from our past experiences. We 'fake it until we make it', so to speak, and just hope that nobody notices or ever sees us for who we really are.
The question is, who are you really? Are you your strengths and dreams; or are you your weaknesses and scars? I believe we are an extension of God energy, and only when we forget that fact, do we internalize negative experiences and make them part of us. Those are NOT who we are. Those are just things that happen in our around us. Things that we don't like, that do not make us feel happy. That is actually a good thing.
WHY? Because they show us vividly what we do not want. Only when we identify what does not feel good and what we do not want, can we begin for focus more strongly on what we DO want. In other words, you can't taste the sweet unless you've tasted the sour. What if we interpreted negative experiences (whether we feel they are our fault or not), as KEY indicators of what we do not want.
Negative experiences are almost like a yellow traffic light saying slow down, pay attention, and don't keep moving in this direction. TURN to the left or right, but do not keep going forward in this direction.
I love the idea that our hurtful or painful experiences are here specifically to teach us, through our FEELINGS, about what we do not want. Only through feeling the negative can we say, NO, I don't like this or want this. I'm going to move in a different direction. I chose a new direction that feels good to me that leads me to a wonderful place full of health, wealth, and beautiful relationships. My past pain is not going to be my future, just because it feels familiar to me. That is NOT me.
That is something liberating. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons! Were you abandoned, neglected, or abused in your childhood? Did you like it? NO! Flashing yellow light! Now you know you will be double focused on being a devoted, loving, present parent that teaches your child a new way of living. Your children will grow up happy, secure, with their needs met. If you never say "NO, that wasn't right. I don't like that," then you will most likely repeat the painful pattern. Being a loving parent is your destiny. That's who you are!
Did you grow up without much money or stability? Good!Now you take very seriously the importance of working, of developing your skills, and living in abundance. Nothing will stop you or deter you from achieving your goals because you have been at the bottom and did not like it. So you are committed to being at the top! Living in abundance is your destiny. Thats' who you are!
Did you believe you had to be perfect to be successful? Did you learn through experience to get approval from others through your performance or attempted perfection? Were you afraid to let others down or lose their love and approval if you made a mistake? That hurts. And it is a prison of achievement with an insatiable monster eating up every accomplishment you dish up before you can even catch your breath and celebrate. Believe it or not, that's good too! Now you know that you can accomplish great things which drove you to success. But you now realize it takes the joy out of the accomplishment if you do it for someone else. It doesn't feel good when you say "tada," and wait for someone else to say great job. That's not you. That's the child in you.
Your destiny is to achieve your goals because you want to experience the joy of accomplishing them. Your destiny is to pursue your dreams so that your own adult life experience can be better with those results in it. Your destiny is to love, laugh, achieve, believe, and live each day for the joy of experiencing whatever it is that you want... just because you want it. If no one ever acknowledges anything you are doing, that's OK as long as you are feeling joy in the journey of it. It could be joy in the work or joy in the money you earn from it and what you can purchase afterwards. It doesn't matter.
Whatever and wherever your joy is, that's your destiny. That's who you are. And only you can define yourself by that and not let your negative 'guiding' experiences define you. They are just the yellow traffic lights telling you to move in another direction. Your life is the only place you get to be you, so enjoy it! And let the rest go.
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